White Charm: Black Men, White Women

i accidentally came across this interesting article but tired-out article about 'black' men with 'white' women and if you'll allow me, i have a few observations for your consideration.

frederick douglass was certainly 'black' nearly 200 years ago. but that is only because 'white' america invented and enforced the extraordinarily racist 'one-drop rule' that said if you have any 'black' in you, you're just plain black, like putting a drop of arsenic in a bottle of water, you are polluted, unpure, inferior, not 'white' anymore. oh, and by the way, you were also then property which could be bought and sold- very fiancially beneficial indeed.

mr. douglass was in actuality as 'white' as he was 'black', as he was of a 'white' father and 'black' mother. true, but these were the days of slavery and mr. douglass was 'black' because 'white' folk said so.

2009 and 'black' women point to Barrack Obama as a shining example of a 'black' man who succeeded with a 'black' woman as a mate. how do you reconcile your pride in our new president's 'race' with the fact that he is indeed the product of a 'black' man and 'white' woman who got together to produce this inspiring leader? place yourself at his birth 47 years ago and ponder what you would have thought looking at the newborn. proud 'black' man in the making?

you point to harold ford jr. in this article, but do you know the tortured family history of his 'race'?

my point is, look into yourself and the sick and twisted history of 'race' in this country and realize that it was 'white' folks with no morals who came up with the 'one drop rule' to institutionalize racism, dehumanize 'black' folks, all for financial gain.

but it is now 'black' folk, maybe especially 'black' women, who perpetuate this one drop rule as much or more than 'white' folk do now or ever did, and as you so unknowingly and repeatedly do in this article.

disturbing on so many levels is the allegation that 'black' men are selling out, looking for status, or have other cynical motives when choosing a relationship with a 'white' woman.

'black' women asserting that 'black' men should belong exclusively to 'black' women, the insination that 'black' men are or should be the exclusive ~property~ of 'black' women, leaves a very bad taste indeed.

when we continue to enforce, through social pressure, the 'one drop rule', we continue what the slaveholders started, and with the same result. it will take 'black' folk to finally end this powerful, institutional legacy of slavery still keeping people down today.

hard and counter-intuitive as it may seem, we have to stop claiming everyone with some 'black' in them as being plain old 'black'. if we allow folks to be a range from 'black' to 'white' instead of going along with the 'a drop of 'black' pollutes the pure 'white' theme, only then can we get beyond and move forward.

iloozyun, your arguments regarding the "one drop rule" are tired. race is a social construct but so is gender. consider the trangendered...am i a woman because society deems it so or does my being a woman hinge upon the fact that i was born with a vagina? what about boys or men who from an early age identify themselves as women?

if we can choose one color over another (or no color at all), if we can defy what people see (darker skin) and choose to be classified as something else, then we should also be able to choose our gender. and if that be the case, a boy/man who visually looks the part isn't necessarily a dude. "dude", based on your argument, doesn't even have to look like a lady...he just needs to THINK he's one.

Now to the questions that have been posed as to why it matters...or black women who feel that it's comparatively wrong for black men to date outside their race...

70% of Black women are single, never married - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvQel-sIKwM

Or, look at the % of Black Male-White Female couples vs. that of Black Female-White Male couples - http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/race/interractab1.txt - you can google more recent studies as the percentage for Black Females has sharply declined despite the fact that Black women are pouncing Black men in the realm of education. In other words, the dumber black men collectively get, the more they opt to date outside their race. HA!

Carl,

Why is this always the argument used by black men who date white women? "I tried dating black women but they didn't appreciate me." I've dated my share of black men and many never appreciated me...some were and are down right bastards but unlike you, and those like you, it appears to me that you use your bad experiences as a cop out rather than altering your perspective in a reasonable and rational way to find your mate.

"Black women didn't want me then..." So all black women don't want you? As a lawyer, as someone who is trained to play devil's advocate, I find it surprising that you would make such a blanket statement and not expect me and others to smell the shit you shovelin'.

In spite of my failed relationships, I would never, ever say that "black men don't won't me." In fact, my failures have taught me to be more open-minded with regard to appearance, education, status, height, weight and yes, even color.

But you, you are exactly why black women snub their noses at black men who date white women. It's not about love. In fact, maybe the reason why black women didn't appreciate you was because you chose small-minded women. Maybe like them, you ignored the smarter chick, the fatter chick, the darker chick, the not-so attractive chick. After all, like attracts like. You got the black women you deserved and yet, you want to say..."Black women didn’t want me then.."

Nah, I don't want you. I don't want a man who obviously has so little respect for himself and for me that you'd think I'd fall for your BS argument. Come law-man...I deserve a better argument than this! If you were on trial you'd be convicted...enjoy your charm!

@Carl: Not only is racism alive and well, many of us embody it. Based on your comments, I question if you do.

The sad reality is, many minority groups, race based, gender based, sexuality based are the by-products of discrimination. You want a false utopia but in reality, you're choosing to walk through a beautiful pasture while ignoring the 100s of cow pies (shit) you keep stepping in.

You mentioned MLK and what I would encourage you to do is to examine the progression of his political and socio-economic outlook. MLK is more than a solitary speech.

Melting Pot? The concept of a Melting Pot was debunked like uhm...last century because if the premise behind it were true, black folks, asian folks, latino folks, native americans and so on would have "absorbed" into american society long before many european ethnic groups. The Melting Pot ideology only works for those who physically resemble the majority. LAWMAN YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS!

Southern Italian and Irish immigrants who came to this country in the first part of the 20th century suffered from discrimination and racism. But they have successfully "melted" into the fabric of America not because they come from less spiteful stock...they white. Second generations typically don't have their native country's accent, they dress like the "pot", talk like the "pot" and when you look like "pot", what is there to discriminate against?

The only exception are Jewish people. Many of them changed their last names to "Melt" into your lil' racist Pot. Once the names were changed and the religious observances weren't overtly honoured, they too could be just like everyone else. Your pot requires a loss of identity. It's not about becoming one...it's about denial of your primary identity. Are your daddy's son or an American first? You tell me.

Black women don't bash interracial dating out of jealousy. Only someone who is sniffing white crack would even think such a thing :-P

Let me put this in terms that don't allow little people to throw around big words (racist). In many cultures, america included, people prefer male children. There's tons of reasons why male children are preferred and I'm sure you're smart enough to gauge why.

There are some who will raise their daughters to believe that they can accomplish anything in this world. And pity their daughters when they discover the reality -Read That Hypocritical White Chick. Where that girl may grow into a strong woman, she's an ill-informed one and IF she ever wakes up, she will most likely decide it's easier to "melt" than it is to remain solid.

Then there are others who will raise their daughters in the same manner but will also give these young women a gem...you ain't equal. Obtaining the right to vote doesn't mean the struggle is over.

We as minorities know that we are just as good, just as smart, just as capable. But knowing it is one thing. Claiming it, fighting for it, demanding it is another. And that's the difference between black folk like you and black folk like me.

I'm not scared to ask myself WHY I do/don't date outside my race. I'm not scared to ask myself if there is something in my makeup that makes me prefer one type of man over another. I also am not stupid enough to ignore the fact that interracial marriages have a lower success rate and I'd think if you truly loved your White Charm, if you looked at marriage as something more than playing house, you'd want to do everything to make it succeed including figuring out why so many others have failed. But none of that matters as long as she's a natural blonde :-P

PS...Of that list, I only like Obama and "Chili" has a real name. Did you google "biracial Black folk"? Hmm...you must REALLY want white babies ;)

Carl, the sad part about you is that you make the assumption that any Black person who discusses racial issues is militant, anti-American and anti-white. It goes to show how brainwashed you are. The more you respond, the more I'm saddened. It amazes me that someone who obviously has such a good head on his shoulders can't even recognize how f-d up your thinking is.

You're the reason why college educated folk still walk into hospital rooms after a black child is delivered and comment on how dark the child might get, or women lament over not having "good hair," or why in some families, children bathe with bleach. I don't get black folks like you and in a way, I think yall are just as much of a problem as the a-hole on the corner selling drugs.

Let's try this...
In many countries women are second class citizens. Hmm...well third as in some cases livestock have more value than daughters. In these countries when a girl child is born, I can only imagine that when she is first able to reason, she views herself as equal and no different than her male counterparts. At some point, reality sets in and she begins to recognize that her role in life is predetermined. She may be equal in God's eyes but God doesn't write worldly laws, cultural mores or enforce them. Based on your argument, she shouldn't speak of such injustice, after all, in her country at least she's allowed to learn to read and write.

Inequality doesn't have to be in the form of police dogs, cross burnings, lynchings or...dowries. Inequality can be plain as black and white but as subjective as the following proclamation...

If I find a white chick that’s diggin me for who I am, i’m not gonna hesitate. If I find a latina chick thats interested in me and me in her, I’m gonna get her. If I find a black girl that’s perfect for me, I WILL try ask her out.

White - She's into me, No Hesitation - TRANSLATION: Forgone Conclusion
Latina - She might be into me, It'll Take Time - TRANSLATION: A Challenge, But I'm Feeling Pretty Confident
Black - Surprising...she's likes me for some reason, I Will Try but I'm skeptical - TRANSLATION: I Know How This Will End And I'd Rather Not Bother, But You Never Know

Subjectively, I would argue, you have a negative attitude when it comes to dating women who resemble your mama. It's a pretty common phenomenon with dark-skinned men who are jealous of lighter skinned men ("pretty boy" Iis what you called 'em), who think they are better than "other" black folk due to their intellectual achievement and...AND...who may have a Napoleon Complex. You're under 5'6 aren't you? PAGING DR. FREUD!!!

I understand why people such as yourself would rather be blind. It's easier. Ultimately though, you will become a statistic. Whether it be in the form of a failed interracial relationship where you dominate your white "chick" or joining the ranks of the Black elitist who choose to look down upon other Black folk, you don't want to know yourself better and people who aren't on the path towards self-actualization are undeniably encumbered by failure.

I can't choose who you date. But I'd feel lots better about you and the children you produce if you had the courage to acknowledge, confront and eradicate any and all remnants of racism that reside within you. You're going to perpetuate the problem. Your children will be Quadroons Y2K..."Brown Bag" mentality (the notion held by Black folk of yesteryear that one couldn't be admitted into an organization/school if one is darker than a paper bag) and all.

PS...I hope you're happy with you're brunette. I'm enjoying mine ;-)